I didn't feel like painting when I painted this. I didn't know what I was going to put on the canvas. I had been more or less convinced all day that I was a complete hack and whatever illusion I'd once had of being able to (or even wanting to) draw or paint or create anything had been merely thatan illusionand the illusion was now a memory. Then I sat on the floor and painted this. And I like it. And I think it was born subconsciously of my conscious fear of art and beauty and the inability to create anything worthy of it.